Femboi Charlie

Hello boys and bois , it's been A WHILE. This year has been pretty rough, but I'm still alive and kicking, and I'm still learning, exploring, and discovering more things about myself. Now, I'm not going to bore you with a bunch of downers, but I do want to get off my chest one important struggle item: It's transphobes. Transphobes (and general 'phobes) have really been out in force this year, with book bans and bathroom bills, and increasingly toxic and violent rhetoric, and it's been really getting to me. It gets to me because I'm happily detransitioning, by choice, on my own terms, and this all but makes me their poster child. They like to point at people like me when they argue that transition not only doesn't help, but is also actively harmful. They use people like me to hurt and remove rights and protections from others. And this sucks, because it makes it really hard to feel comfortable sharing my experien...

T hat's what I would call this year, if I were to give it a name. It's been a little over a month since I've last written, and, frankly, not much has happened in that time. At least nothing truly exciting. While I have written several notes in my little journal, I've been unable to dedicate to them the time required to make them fit for publishing. I've just been so busy. So, so busy. Work has been a handful and a half these last couple of months, so I'm really looking forward to the holidays when I'll be able to shut my brain off for a short while. Still, I'm here now, and though my brain is tired, I want to try and share some things with you. For example...  I renewed my PrEP! Not that I've been giving it any use (makes me cry inside) because I've been too worn out by work to muster the energy to push through the gauntlet of disappointment known as Grindr. However, it was a very uplifting occasion, going back to the clinic, because I'd forg...

That's what this dry spell has been I've been away for weeks. WEEKS! And it's been horrible. See the reason I've been away is that I've been feeling yucky because I, for the longest time, couldn't figure out how much fiber to take in order to maintain a clean and healthy bussy. I tried veggies, I tried fiber bars, and I tried supplements (well, only one, but still), yet I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. Sometimes bowel movements would happen with great success and require minimal cleanup, but then the next day things would go back to being wonky. Part of the problem is that I'm a very impatient boi. Super impatient. So I rushed my experiments, and did a terrible job isolating variables over time. Another problem is that I misunderstood the way I needed fiber to work. While it's true that fiber is good for intestinal health in general , that's not what the supplements were meant to do. It wasn't until about a week ago that, reading...

 Who would've thought medication could be sexy? I sure as heck didn't! But, man oh man, did everything about PrEP feel sexy! And a little bit nerve-racking. For some mysterious reason, I became very nervous roughly two hours before my appointment. "Am I really going through with this," I kept asking myself. For reassurance, I tried to keep in mind that getting on PrEP didn't mean I had to have sex if I didn't want to - it's a preventative measure, after all. But as soon as I arrived and signed in for my appointment, that fear had vanished, and in its place was a sense of exhilaration: I WAS going through with this! Just like with my previous visit, wait time was virtually non-existent, within 5 or so minutes I was already with the doc -a different one from before, but still friendly and professional. She walked me through my test results, took my vitals, and ran me through a new questionnaire. Remember how I mentioned before that I wanted to change my or...

 And I mean "Top" as in the position I've been on a wicked gayphoria roll lately -going as far as wanting to scream "I'm gay" to anyone who would listen. In fact, I recently stumbled upon a friend of mine, in an online space, with whom I haven't spoken in ages, and I wanted to tell them, with desperation , so many things; I wanted to tell them I'm gay now, that I'm getting on PrEP, that I'm love with cock, and am looking to have lots and lots of gay sex. Unfortunately we were on a public forum thus I kept all this to myself, which wasn't easy because I was BURSTING. More than anything, I wanted to tell them how happy and proud I felt. But what's this got to do with "top" problems? Good question! I'm a remarkably skeptical person, at least when it comes to matters of keen interest to me, and as such I'm frequently filled with questions and suspicions. In this case, my brain had doubts about this gayphoria, thinking ...

I had my first PrEP consultation today* And it was a far better experience than I imagined! (*I guess at time of publication, it was technically yesterday, but it was accurate at time of writing!!) There's a lot of options online for getting on PrEP, but I'm wary of online subscriptions, and of getting medicine in the mail in general. There's nothing inherently wrong with it -one of my exes got her HRT via USPS- but I do prefer serious things like these to be handled human-to-human. So I looked for local options, instead, and found a few clinics that would prescribe it. Most interesting, however, was the fact that CVS has these things called MinuteClinics at some participating locations. Now, I am partial to Walgreens, myself, not least because my nearest pharmacy happens to be one of those, but I figured that you can't really beat the portability and ease of access that a national chain offers over local clinics, so I gave it a shot. And boy am I glad I did! Getting my...

But then the illness caught up to me. Which is a shame. I was feeling great. Irreparably horny, but great nonetheless. Alas, I could outrun the fates no longer and had a hard, hard crash. That's why you haven't seen lewd content from yours truly in a few days! It's ironic. Throughout my bouts of unending arousal, which I tried to sate with copious amounts of butt play, I couldn't stop myself from musing about how I usually find myself at my neediest when I'm unwell. And so, here I am, with a nasty sore throat and a seriously aching head, unable to stuff myself further. Which is odd, because my initial symptoms - allergic reaction - had nothing to do with this, so it's hard to determine if something went wrong with my treatment, or if I've picked up something new. Oh no. Let's hope this nonsense clears up before Monday, because it'll be...........