PrEPping Up!

I had my first PrEP consultation today*

And it was a far better experience than I imagined!

(*I guess at time of publication, it was technically yesterday, but it was accurate at time of writing!!)

There's a lot of options online for getting on PrEP, but I'm wary of online subscriptions, and of getting medicine in the mail in general. There's nothing inherently wrong with it -one of my exes got her HRT via USPS- but I do prefer serious things like these to be handled human-to-human. So I looked for local options, instead, and found a few clinics that would prescribe it. Most interesting, however, was the fact that CVS has these things called MinuteClinics at some participating locations. Now, I am partial to Walgreens, myself, not least because my nearest pharmacy happens to be one of those, but I figured that you can't really beat the portability and ease of access that a national chain offers over local clinics, so I gave it a shot. And boy am I glad I did!

Getting my appointment in was a breeze, and so was checking in! I arrived a good 20 minutes early, and was already being seen almost 10 minutes BEFORE my appointment - talk about expediency! Now, for this process I decided not to mess around with names and gender, so I used my legal name and my sex. This has the standard benefit that awkward conversations (and questions about my period) are fewer, and now also carries the added benefit that I'm receiving healthcare as a femboi. Like, obviously it's not an official thing - there's no writing femboi on these forms (though some places do allow for nonbinary options and the like) - but like they see all my info as male, they see me dressed like a girl, and so they immediately have a decent idea of what they're dealing with.

Of course, this varies from place to place, not everywhere is as chill with these things as here, but please allow me to bask in this small comfort and the joy it brings me.

I think my favorite part was when the doctor asked me if I was homosexual or bisexual, and the way she asked it sort of hinted that she expected me to say homosexual. I loved it! Now, I know she was only ticking boxes, but here's the thing: they have to have a box for heterosexual people. While HIV/AIDS is a higher risk for gay men, it still affects every other demographic. But she didn't even ask that! I love it, I love it. I wanted to answer "homosexual" super, super bad, but ended up picking bisexual, just to not completely write-off transwomen. Of course, I didn't say it that way, I told her that I'm pretty homosexual, but who knows what situations I might get myself into.

She loved that answer. She was a great healthcare provider, honestly. Treated me with respect and dignity, and was comfortable with any and all subjects. I had never in my life looked forward to seeing a doctor again, until now. Because, of course, I need to have bloodwork done -need to make sure I don't currently have HIV (and I'm in a bit of a panic about that right now, I'll explain in a bit)- which I'll do tomorrow morning, so we can have the results for my next appointment, next Monday. If all my bloodwork looks good, then I'll be starting PrEP next week, and I'll be very comfy slutting it up by Halloween! (Or at least definitely by Thanksgiving!!)

I am SO excited!!! Fuck!!! I can't believe I'm one step closer to making my dreams a reality, and I'm sure as heck not going to believe it even when I start on the meds!!! But it sure feels like the future's gonna be bright, for a change!!!

 

 I just discovered the magic of porn with sound

Remember how one of the amazing revelations of having sex with this guy was how good his masculine voice felt? Well, I stumbled upon a vid where a guy appeared to be talking about another guy's big cock. I say "appeared" because I mute all my porn by default. There's many reasons for this. First, it's because I don't live alone anymore; even when I did, I found it awkward that my cat could hear the porn, so I'd be self-conscious about it. Secondly, because volume in online content is literally all over the friggin' place. Some videos are super quiet, others extremely loud and imbalanced, and others either have no discernible audio or really obnoxious music. Thirdly, and this ought to come as absolutely no surprise, I didn't really care to listen to girls in porn. Or the guys (in straight porn) either.

Anyways, I unmuted this video to hear what they were saying and I was instantly hooked. HOOKED, I tell you! This super-obvious bottom was super-obviously wanting to try fitting the other guy's cock in his mouth, but was acting bashful about it and the camera guy kept teasing him. It felt like I had found my people. Like I could relate, or connect with them. Beyond that, their voices, being deeper/male, were in a register that works for me. Not only can I relate to them because my register is similar, but it also revs my engine.

And their moans, wow!

In my drafts, buried somewhere, I have a post I was working on regarding the beautiful symmetry, and asymmetry, of gay sex. In it I wax poetic about how beautiful it is to have bodies that are, in a very general sense, mirror images of each other taking on different roles, and finding joy and pleasure in this. The post is, of course, way more in-depth, but I just wanted to throw out this brief summary to try and frame where I'm coming from. Because hearing men moan, and groan, in pleasure together added an entire dimension I had heretofore been missing out!

I'm sure some of you, reading this, are laughing and thinking me a chump - and, well, yes, I suppose you're right. "Unusual" is an extremely charitable description of my discovering the magic of audio this late in the game. But you know what? I'm here now, and I LOVE it.

I love it so much I went out looking for more videos. Stumbled upon this guy with a homemade gloryhole setup, just sucking cock. And I watched most of it! Not only was he super talented (and I was taking notes!!!), but the guy on the other side engaged in a good bit of dirty talk and I felt it in my buttplug!

...

And when he came! His moans! Man couldn't string words together! And the bottom kept moaning and sucking on his head.

And now I want to suck some cock, too...

...

Yeah, I think maybe I should've just gone with homosexual for the PrEP thing.

I think on Monday I'm going to ask the doc if we can switch it up.

Cus, I'm sorry, but THIS is what I want.