Femboi Charlie

  Happy Pride Boys & Gurls! It's another year, another Pride, another opportunity for growth and gayness! And a wonderful opportunity for me to get off my butt and type out a post! In classic me style, I have a ton of drafts, a ton of ideas, but not enough time to sit down and write them. It also doesn't help that it really never seems like the right time - even though some feel ironically time-sensitive. It's kind of like my sex life: big talk and no walk. It's not really my fault, leastways not entirely. I've been genuinely mega-slammed at work for the past few months, and my hole has required a big reworking of my diet to become cooperative with cleaning. Also, it has to be said, the scene here in my new city is dire ; and having family still living with me does not help. But it's not all bad. On Bsky I've found a community of fellow swimsuit-lovers, which (sounds dorky as heck, but) is really nice. And the unintended side-effect of ...

 So last year was pretty shit, huh. And this year ain't looking much better neither. But we keep holding on.  I wanted to title this post after the chorus to Holding Back The Years, but that's because I misremembered it as "I'll keep moving on", and the actual lyrics didn't quite match what I want this post to be about. Anyways...Hi! I hope you've been well, and you haven't missed me too much. Things have been busy. And there's something I've wanted to write forever, but it's just never a good time. And there was the move. And there's work. And between you and me, I'm looking for an exit strategy because I'm not happy with where I'm at, and the company's going to heck. But moving across the country, plus the economic repercussions of the elections, has made the jobs picture exceptionally bleak.  But I don't want to be a total downer, so I want to share some fun stuff. I've started working on some personal project...

I don't have any fun quips to start this post. I do have a fun fact, however: there are seven (7!!) drafts since my last post, going all the way down to December! Imagine all those wonderful, kinky things I've wanted to share with you, that were left forgotten! Don't worry, while I know I'm probably never going to publish any of them now, I can give you a pair of quick highlights. First : I hooked up a couple more times. They were amazing. First one was an older daddy type who wasted no time fucking me bareback and breeding me (thanks PrEP!!!), and I gotta say there's something really special about having a man cum inside you, filling you up with his seed. Part of it is psychological, of course, but there's also a raw energy from him because he wants to fill you up, and he wants to fill you deep - he wants his cum to get as far inside you as possible. So he thrusts that much harder, and that much deeper. And you also want this, so you arch your back and push b...

Hello boys and gurls , it's been a SPELL!!! As ever, my blog is littered with drafts that will never see the light of day. Part of the problem is that everything is moving so quickly, these days. Every other day there's some new attack on trans/NB/genderqueer folks and it's EXHAUSTING. I swear you'd think we've solved all the world's problems and folks have nothing better to do than come after us. The most recent thing that set this post back WEEKS was the Cass report thing.  I really shouldn't let it affect me this much, but this has become, effectively, a detrans blog. And if I start speaking frankly about how my views on gender have evolved (i.e.: we should get rid of it), I fear I might run the risk of coming across as sympathizing with transphobes in this highly polarized environment. But a bigger part of it, I think, is that things have been moving very, VERY quickly with myself. As recently as early this year, I felt fairly confident that I wouldn...

It's official now, bois... There's just too much malarkey going on. From twitter being run into the ground by a man whose brain is being boiled alive by conspiracy theories, to transphobes being unbelievably vile as Brianna Ghey's murderers stand trial... All of this is bad enough on its own, but on top of all of this sapping my will to be online, there's also been some real-life business that's been really kicking my butt. From work getting extra busy for (good and bad) reasons, to a pretty friggin' scary health emergency (I'm fine, everything's fine, but I'll be on meds, and off cardio -and Grindr, sorry boys-, for the next few months), and I'm just completely out of spoons. What breaks my heart hardest, I think, is detransitioners going on grifting tours. Especially those that confess they still deal with dysphoria-related depression (and other issues) after detransition. It's just so wrong on so many levels, I don't even know where t...

Hello boys and bois , it's been A WHILE. This year has been pretty rough, but I'm still alive and kicking, and I'm still learning, exploring, and discovering more things about myself. Now, I'm not going to bore you with a bunch of downers, but I do want to get off my chest one important struggle item: It's transphobes. Transphobes (and general 'phobes) have really been out in force this year, with book bans and bathroom bills, and increasingly toxic and violent rhetoric, and it's been really getting to me. It gets to me because I'm happily detransitioning, by choice, on my own terms, and this all but makes me their poster child. They like to point at people like me when they argue that transition not only doesn't help, but is also actively harmful. They use people like me to hurt and remove rights and protections from others. And this sucks, because it makes it really hard to feel comfortable sharing my experien...

I had my first PrEP consultation today* And it was a far better experience than I imagined! (*I guess at time of publication, it was technically yesterday, but it was accurate at time of writing!!) There's a lot of options online for getting on PrEP, but I'm wary of online subscriptions, and of getting medicine in the mail in general. There's nothing inherently wrong with it -one of my exes got her HRT via USPS- but I do prefer serious things like these to be handled human-to-human. So I looked for local options, instead, and found a few clinics that would prescribe it. Most interesting, however, was the fact that CVS has these things called MinuteClinics at some participating locations. Now, I am partial to Walgreens, myself, not least because my nearest pharmacy happens to be one of those, but I figured that you can't really beat the portability and ease of access that a national chain offers over local clinics, so I gave it a shot. And boy am I glad I did! Getting my...

And the endless process to shake them off. I recently tweeted about a trip. I do play coy about a lot of these things because there's a lot of stuff that I want to share and be open about, but at the same time so little I actually can share. However there's two things I want to share. First, that I came back from the trip with a really nasty allergic reaction to something (really, no clue what) and I'm on antibiotics, which is why I haven't really posted much in the last couple of weeks, nor been out sucking cock (which I really want to do, I can't tell you how horny I was last night since I couldn't sleep, and even now as I type this I really wish I could be testing my throat with one right now). Second, and more important, I opened up about relationship (mostly sexual) hangups to a childhood friend and his wife. It's not something new, but it's something I like revisiting every once in a while. I use it as a sort of landmark with which to measure my ...