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Proud

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...Though Not Quite Loud Last year, just after Pride Month (much like this year!), I wrote an update post in which I mulled over the meaning of Pride, because it was important to me to make sure that I was actually, honest-to-goodness proud, and not just saying it. Well, this year (unlike last), I can confidently say that I am proud. See, I love being gay, I love being a boy, I love being effeminate, I love being a cross-dresser; but does this mean that I'm proud of these things? Not necessarily: it's possible to be ashamed of certain things we love (think guilty pleasures). And, indeed, there are entirely too many queer people out there who enjoy aspects of their queerness but still wish they were cis/hetero. And to confound matters further, I've been hesitant to make any strong statements in either direction because I did just spend a whole decade living as a woman and it turns out that was one big mistake. It's kind of funny, actually, as I remember typing on this bl...
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One Year Later..!

I don't have any fun quips to start this post. I do have a fun fact, however: there are seven (7!!) drafts since my last post, going all the way down to December! Imagine all those wonderful, kinky things I've wanted to share with you, that were left forgotten! Don't worry, while I know I'm probably never going to publish any of them now, I can give you a pair of quick highlights. First : I hooked up a couple more times. They were amazing. First one was an older daddy type who wasted no time fucking me bareback and breeding me (thanks PrEP!!!), and I gotta say there's something really special about having a man cum inside you, filling you up with his seed. Part of it is psychological, of course, but there's also a raw energy from him because he wants to fill you up, and he wants to fill you deep - he wants his cum to get as far inside you as possible. So he thrusts that much harder, and that much deeper. And you also want this, so you arch your back and push b...
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Am I Finally Proud?

Hello boys and gurls, I hope Pride month treated you well! As you can see, I'm trying my bestest to write more frequently, and more succinctly (with mixed results)! So, in this post I want to talk about a few updates, and I'm gonna try to keep things positive! Update 1: At-Home Laser Hair Removal - It Just Works!   Aaaaaages ago I shared that I'd picked up a pretty nifty and not-cheap-but-def-cheaper-than-salon-sessions laser hair removal gadget. I loved it, it was fantastic, and it worked really well... except that its diode head is a bit too small. This means it's great for getting into smaller areas, and because it's a proper laser it does an excellent job in those smaller areas; but it's mighty inconvenient for larger areas, especially if you have stubborn hairs. So I picked up a second, more fairly-priced gadget, that doesn't have as strong a light but has a much, much wider head. This makes it great for large areas, like under my chin, or my legs; but,...
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Happy Pride Month!

I was initially going to call this post "Little Quickie," because I want to try and keep it short, and I was going to quip that this was what my girlfriends used to call me, so let's pretend I did that. But also, sadly, they didn't use to call me that - I'm below-average (mercy!) but not below-average enough (curses!). I really need to find a way to shrink my penis that doesn't involve lung cancer (smoking) or aging. If I could pay a surgeon, I don't know, $8k, $10k, $20k..? I'd shred my credit score in a heartbeat; especially if he could also make it thinner. I recently discovered that some folks get surgery to become "nullo," and some also get surgery to become hermaphrodites (salmacian? This is still new to me), so maybe one of them can help me get the micropenis of my dreams... (At time of writing, there's a procedure! Reduction corporoplasty has been used primarily for health/sexual wellness reasons, but there's at least one cas...
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Spin Me Right Round

Hello boys and gurls , it's been a SPELL!!! As ever, my blog is littered with drafts that will never see the light of day. Part of the problem is that everything is moving so quickly, these days. Every other day there's some new attack on trans/NB/genderqueer folks and it's EXHAUSTING. I swear you'd think we've solved all the world's problems and folks have nothing better to do than come after us. The most recent thing that set this post back WEEKS was the Cass report thing.  I really shouldn't let it affect me this much, but this has become, effectively, a detrans blog. And if I start speaking frankly about how my views on gender have evolved (i.e.: we should get rid of it), I fear I might run the risk of coming across as sympathizing with transphobes in this highly polarized environment. But a bigger part of it, I think, is that things have been moving very, VERY quickly with myself. As recently as early this year, I felt fairly confident that I wouldn...
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Taking a long break from twitter, and from posting in general...

It's official now, bois... There's just too much malarkey going on. From twitter being run into the ground by a man whose brain is being boiled alive by conspiracy theories, to transphobes being unbelievably vile as Brianna Ghey's murderers stand trial... All of this is bad enough on its own, but on top of all of this sapping my will to be online, there's also been some real-life business that's been really kicking my butt. From work getting extra busy for (good and bad) reasons, to a pretty friggin' scary health emergency (I'm fine, everything's fine, but I'll be on meds, and off cardio -and Grindr, sorry boys-, for the next few months), and I'm just completely out of spoons. What breaks my heart hardest, I think, is detransitioners going on grifting tours. Especially those that confess they still deal with dysphoria-related depression (and other issues) after detransition. It's just so wrong on so many levels, I don't even know where t...
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And Believe Me, I Am Still Alive

Hello boys and bois , it's been A WHILE. This year has been pretty rough, but I'm still alive and kicking, and I'm still learning, exploring, and discovering more things about myself. Now, I'm not going to bore you with a bunch of downers, but I do want to get off my chest one important struggle item: It's transphobes. Transphobes (and general 'phobes) have really been out in force this year, with book bans and bathroom bills, and increasingly toxic and violent rhetoric, and it's been really getting to me. It gets to me because I'm happily detransitioning, by choice, on my own terms, and this all but makes me their poster child. They like to point at people like me when they argue that transition not only doesn't help, but is also actively harmful. They use people like me to hurt and remove rights and protections from others. And this sucks, because it makes it really hard to feel comfortable sharing my experien...
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