Locktober Fail, Wet Dreams & Pet Play Fantasies

 Yeah, so Locktober was a bust.

It was over before it could even begin in earnest, I just didn't know it. I've talked plenty about how touchy my bits are down there, and how they like to disagree with me, and this time was no different. At some point, between shaving and locking up, a teeny tiny cut must've gotten infected and I didn't realize it until too late. I thought it was minor irritation at first so I didn't give it time to heal, and the dang thing ended up taking weeks instead.

Bummer.

Not all is lost, though. I haven't played with my little buddy down there and I haven't done any (voluntary) cummies all month!

Now, I won't lie, the temptation pops up its ugly little head every now and then. But it's not a real, credible threat, you know? It's more like an echo, a ghost from a time long past when the tiny thing would still see some action. It's not that I wanted to play with it, or that I wanted to cum, but more of a reflex calling for something I hadn't done in a while.

Alas, those calls shall remain unanswered.

Wet dreams are strange.

I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I've only ever had a handful of wet dreams in my life - easily less than 5. But for some reason the last two (and the only ones I recall) have both happened within the last 5 months. I think it's my little feller down there throwing a sissy fit.

It's also kind of hot.

In many weird ways. I'm not sure how to explain any of them, except for one: the humiliating way. Hands-free orgasms are amazing, right? But usually those happen when you're getting fucked. So how pathetic is it to just have one out of nowhere? No cock up my ass, no one playing with my little thing, nothing. And then having to clean up the mess you made for no reason? Humiliating.

But it's also annoying; because it wakes you up.

See, this time I was dreaming about a certain amazing hypnotist. But I wasn't dreaming about her, per se, but rather about being her little sex slave. It all started innocently enough meeting up at a cafe, talking terms, and coming to an agreement. Now, I don't remember the minutiae of said agreement, but the gist was that while I was at her service I had to obey her every command: from dressing as she instructed, to performing any action she asked. There was an understanding that I'm gay, and that I was interested in serving her indirectly - I'd be more of a cuck, tending to her bulls and admiring them as they fucked her - but if she ordered me to eat her out I'd have to obey (with cum filling or without). This was extra hot, again, from a humiliation standpoint (see a pattern, here?). On the one hand I'd be a good obedient little sissy, following orders, and on the other a pathetic little faggot doing something I don't enjoy just because someone told me.

ANYWAYS, the moment of cummies happened not much later. After collaring me and dressing me down to nothing but my cage and a jockstrap, she called one of her bulls over (he was fucking magnificent, by the way) and locked me inside a gimp/pet cage a few feet away from her bed. I didn't have a lot of room, just enough to sort of kneel on all fours, but I could see everything very well. I could see the way they looked at me, I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I could see them smiling and laughing at me. More importantly, I could see his muscular body, his big juicy cock in her hands. And I'm sure they, too, could see me, see how badly I wanted to taste his cock. I didn't get so lucky that time, but they did leave me a small treat. After they were done fucking, when he pulled out, a good juicy dollop of his cum fell out and landed on the bed, and before leaving the room, she opened the cage and told me I could do whatever I wanted but had to stay in the room. Well, as soon as they closed the door behind them, I crawled over to that dollop of cum and slurped it in.

And that's when I woke up with a wet mess in my jock...

...

So am I into pet play, now?

I don't know.

I'm not into animalistic pet play, for lack of a better term. I'm not into behaving like a cat, or a dog, and the idea of 'catboys' is strange to me. I don't judge, everybody's free to wear sunscreen, but I just don't understand it, and I don't really care, either. I do like the idea of being treated as less-than, as inferior, and being collared, put on a leash, and kept in a small cage. It's like, I like being a pet in practice, just as a human pet, instead of an animal. To drive the point further, I've no interest in eating from a bowl on the ground, but sitting at someone's feet and receiving head-pats and praise kinda work for me. I guess it's kind of like a Master/slave dynamic, but gentler, kinder, with more focus on positive reinforcement than punitive enforcement.

It was actually a plan of mine to get a dog cage this year to see if it's something I genuinely enjoy and see if it would be worth it to invest in a proper human cage. Of course, that, along all my other plans, got derailed, but I just wanted to share that this is something I've given a good bit of thought.

I just want to submit.

I want to give up control, I want to be owned. I want to turn my brain off, obey, and become my Master's plaything. Whether he wants to fuck me as a girl, share me as a boy with his friends, or make me watch from the cage as he makes someone else his bitch, I just want to serve. Only thing I ask is my little buddy's always covered and/or caged and remains off-limits -unless it's to show off how small it is / compare it to a real man's cock.

That last caveat's pretty important.

I actually have this mini-fantasy where my (non-existent) boyfriend has me on my back, I'm uncaged, and before fucking me he puts his cock on top of mine so I can feel it against mine. I don't know why that seems so sexy and romantic to me - just being underneath him, kissing, my tiny thing feeling the weight of his cock, his balls resting against mine. Then he pulls away and next thing I know I have him inside me.

I don't know about you, but that sounds like true love to me.

Anyways, I've posted some new pix!

If you've not seen them, you're not missing out on too much. Just head over to twitter, you'll find them. I've been circling back a bit more to the 'fem' side of 'femboi'. But they're still kinda lovely pix, even if it's the same tired format (sorry).

Still, it's been interesting circling back to the fem side. I think I'm a bit beyond gender at this point. Kinda tired of having to be one or the other, yanno? I don't recall if I've mentioned this seriously before, but I really wish I could just embrace femboi as a proper gender identity. Because I want to be able to be both at the same time. Like a Schrödinger's gender type deal. I want to go out to dinner with my boyfriend as a girl, pretty, feminine, she/her; then come home, 'lose' my wig halfway through sex, and be called a "good boy" as he fills me up with his cum.

Maybe one day.

For now I'll just have to be content with telling you all about it on here.

 PS: thanks for reading :*

PPS: Forgot to say something important! I've become comfortable acknowledging that girls are hot again! Now without jealousy! (For the most part.) I'm also a less disgusted by female bits -which is good, because they're natural, so being disgusted is kinda weird, without regaining any attraction! So I went from being aroused by girls (bad), to being disgusted by girls (bad, but in a good way, sort of), to being able to appreciate them as an Art History major would appreciate some classical nude or whatever (excellent). And on the flip side, I'm really just going "oh, he's cute! Oh, he's hot! Oh, is he single?" over guys. I even signed up for tumblr to have a steady stream of "sfw" dudes to drool over.

Now, that all sounds self-congratulatory (and it is, I think I've earned it), but the one thing I don't spend enough time discussing, or even considering, is just how much happier I am. Men really just do things for me that women never did, and I wish I'd embraced being gay sooner. But that's another story for another time.