Happy Gay Year!

 I hope your holigays were wonderful!

Mine were incredible because I hadn't taken any kind of serious time off in over a year, and even though I stayed home, it was wonderful to really just not do anything but play games and watch tv. And eat. I may have eaten too much. Didn't wreck my weight loss, but I got dangerously close to it. Definitely killed the momentum. Still, I'm getting back on that saddle, and hopefully I can bring the momentum back soon.

It was still a very enjoyable time, and totally worth it.

However, with a new year come new resolutions. And while I never participated in this social phenomenon before (in any serious measure, at least), I think it's still important to have something to hope for, or look forward to in the year. Though it doesn't really have to happen during the year, it can be a work in progress. And it's fine if it doesn't materialize, because then you can evaluate if it's something you truly want. And maybe it is but it wasn't the right time. And you can see how I'm just eliminating all accountability from the thing, and that's on purpose: setting up goals you have to hit without accounting for failing them gracefully is just setting yourself up to fail.

And that's why I don't believe in resolutions.

Still, there are some things I want to put some work into this year, and I want to share them with you...

So, here's my "resolutions" for 2022:

I want a sexual (or more) partner(s). This is going to be pretty dang hard with the new variant spreading like crazy, but a boi can dream, right? It's also going to be super hard because I'm socially awkward, and anxious, and I've just generally forgotten how to hold a conversation with other human beings. So maybe I should just aim for a regular fuckbuddy and call it good.

I want to come out of my new closet. I've talked about this closet quite a bit on this blog - the bigender gay femboi closet - and, realistically, I don't see myself coming out of it completely any time soon. So this is one of those "work in progress" goals. Even if all I do is come up with a game plan for coming out, that would be a massive victory.

I want to put work into my SFW Femboi online presence. I've mentioned I have a "sfw" twitter that I still haven't figured out how to use, and that's what this goal's about. I want to figure out a use for it. And I want to use it. I think this could be instrumental to coming out.

I want to get that slim femboi body. That's right, the basic bitch weight loss goal is here! To my credit, though, I've already been working on this over the last few months. We're getting there, it'll happen.

I want to become a regular at my local CD shop. Like, seriously, there's a crossdresser shop in this city and I had no idea. I've never been, but I want to change that, and I want to be a regular. I want to learn all about makeup and wigs and breastforms, etc, from people who do this stuff for a living. Of course, gotta wait for the dang virus to calm down first. And I should also save some money, too.

I want to wear more skirts and dresses. It should happen naturally as soon as I've lost enough weight, but I still want to make sure to keep an eye out for this. See, I stopped wearing them when they stopped fitting when I put on weight, and I really miss them.

I want to keep cutting my hair shorter. Late last year I cut my hair short, to about halfway down my neck, and it felt good. It was cute, a bit femmy, kind of androgynous, and I'm sure that with the right makeup  I can rock even shorter hair. Which would be even better, because that would be a bit more boyish, more androgynous, and a lot easier to put on wigs with. And wigs is something I definitely want to use more (see the bit about becoming a regular at the CD shop).

I want to be more consistent with this blog. I'm serious. I like putting stuff out there, I like writing for you. I really do. I like it so much, in fact, that I've got lots of drafts that never get published. I also have several pages in Craft, and even more quick notes on my iPad, just waiting to get fleshed out. But the problem is I don't sit out here to type until like 1am, and before I know it it's 4 and I'm fading fast and I have a meeting in 3 and a half hours and it's a disaster... So I guess the real goal is: find the time to work on the blog during the day.

And, finally, I want to stop using my little boistick. This is a weird one, because it's been a longtime goal for me, but it's not exactly practical. I've discussed how I brought cummies back as part of my "becoming gay" program (actually, notice how "become gay" isn't a goal this year? Nice.), and I've also discussed how it's important for me to engage in the refractory period to save my bank account from horny spend (at least I think I published that post), and I'm not sure I ever published the post in which I talked about how I actually don't care to play with it anymore. The point I'm trying to make here is that I'm not sure this is a feasible goal. Especially since I'd like to be able to stock cummies in the freezer for when I feel like having a little treat. So I think the real goal is to find a way to successfully redefine what it means to use it, and set up some rules governing its usage. More on this goal in a future post (for which I have one Craft page and one Quick Note that I keep adding to every now and then with new ideas).

I do have one more goal, but this one is super open-ended: I want to get a gay tattoo. And when I say I want to get one, what I really mean is I want to figure out IF I want to get one. Tattoos are a very permanent thing, and I'm terrified of commitment. I like changing things up. Like my hair, or my nails. So the true nature of this goal is to keep trying out temporary tattoos and see if anything sticks. The idea is to find something I like so much that I'd be happy to have it permanently inked on my skin. And it's entirely possible that I'll never find any such design, and that's fine. If the answer to "what tattoo should I get" is "none at all," well, we've found our answer, no? I can live with this, but only as long as I've tried.